Hilarious, Funny Jokes



Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!


Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts!


Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired!


Why did the math book look sad?

Because it had too many problems!


Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged!


Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!


Why did the computer go to therapy?

Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage!


What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta!


Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

It was feeling crumbly!


Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

It ran out of juice!


Why did the potato break up with the sweet potato?

It felt mashed emotionally.


Why did the lettuce break up with the celery?

The relationship was getting too “stalky” for comfort.


Why did the banana go to the party?

Because it was a-peeling!


Why did the cheese go to the art exhibition?

It wanted to see the “grate” masterpieces!


Why did the orange go to school?

It wanted to be a little more “concentrated”! It hoped to juice up its knowledge and peel away ignorance.


Why did the pancake go to therapy?

It had too many layers of emotional baggage and needed a good flip in perspective!


Why did the bread apply for a loan?

It kneaded some dough to rise in the yeastern market!


Why did the strawberry go to the doctor?

It was feeling a bit berry under the weather and needed a checkup to ensure it wasn’t in a jam!


Why did the cucumber break up with the zucchini?

It felt the relationship was getting too “squashy” and needed some space to pickle its thoughts!


Why did the peanut go to the doctor?

It was feeling a bit nutty!


Why did the bee get good grades?

Because it was a real buzz in school!


What do you call a fish wearing a crown?

A kingfish!


Why did the chicken join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks!


Why don’t oysters donate to charity?

Because they are shellfish—always keeping their pearls of wisdom to themselves! They’re not willing to share their clams for a good cause.


Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo?

Because it wanted to pack its trunk!


Why did the giraffe break up with the zebra?

It just felt like they were on different levels!


What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!


Why did the cat sit on the computer?

Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!


Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?

Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!


Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?

It was getting too jumpy!


What did the fish say when it hit the wall?



How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!


What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer!