#1
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
#2
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
#3
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
#4
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems!
#5
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
#6
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
#7
Why did the computer go to therapy?
Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage!
#8
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
#9
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumbly!
#10
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice!
#11
Why did the potato break up with the sweet potato?
It felt mashed emotionally.
#12
Why did the lettuce break up with the celery?
The relationship was getting too “stalky” for comfort.
#13
Why did the banana go to the party?
Because it was a-peeling!
#14
Why did the cheese go to the art exhibition?
It wanted to see the “grate” masterpieces!
#15
Why did the orange go to school?
It wanted to be a little more “concentrated”! It hoped to juice up its knowledge and peel away ignorance.
#16
Why did the pancake go to therapy?
It had too many layers of emotional baggage and needed a good flip in perspective!
#17
Why did the bread apply for a loan?
It kneaded some dough to rise in the yeastern market!
#18
Why did the strawberry go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit berry under the weather and needed a checkup to ensure it wasn’t in a jam!
#19
Why did the cucumber break up with the zucchini?
It felt the relationship was getting too “squashy” and needed some space to pickle its thoughts!
#20
Why did the peanut go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit nutty!
#21
Why did the bee get good grades?
Because it was a real buzz in school!
#22
What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish!
#23
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
#24
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish—always keeping their pearls of wisdom to themselves! They’re not willing to share their clams for a good cause.
#25
Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo?
Because it wanted to pack its trunk!
#26
Why did the giraffe break up with the zebra?
It just felt like they were on different levels!
#27
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
#28
Why did the cat sit on the computer?
Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
#29
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!
#30
Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
It was getting too jumpy!
#31
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
#32
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
#34
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!